One of the most common negotiation pitfalls is our tendency to talk excessively. I’ve observed this in classrooms and witnessed its detrimental effects firsthand in high-stakes negotiations.
Silence, often underestimated, is a powerful tool. It’s uncomfortable for many, as we’re instinctively drawn to filling voids with words. However, overcoming this urge can yield significant benefits.
Consider the following and practice the art of silence.
Clarity – silence forces clarity. Without a lot of extra information being added, it allows you to properly understand what has been said. It allows the listener to take it in and then formulate an appropriate, considered response. Be concise. Don’t add justifications or additional information. It is not necessary and people will stop listening at some point in order to create a response, they will do that better if you stop talking. If they don’t have enough information, let them ask you a question, but again, keep it to the key points.
Listening – when we make an effort to stop talking, it can also help us listen. Listening and understanding is important when trying to create rapport, forge relationships and spot valuable opportunity within the negotiation. Take time to be quiet and hear what they are saying, rather than constantly thinking of your own position.
Confidence – We often talk too much when we lack confidence in what we are asking for. Nerves make us more likely to talk – or even ramble! When we are clear and concise, we seem confident. When we over share or talk too much we seem aimless.
Concessions –After presenting a proposal, allow the other party time to consider its implications. Silence doesn’t necessarily mean rejection. Avoid negotiating with yourself by offering additional concessions to elicit a response. Silence is positive – it means they are considering your proposal, give them time to do that.
Power – when in a tense or difficult negotiation silence can be a powerful tool. It is easy to react (maybe even overreact) to heated exchanges. Using silence can calm things down. Take a moment to gather yourself. Don’t reply in the heat of the moment. Take a breath and let the silence reduce the tension a bit before calmly and clearly stating your position.
I want to challenge you to say less. Embrace the silence, and the benefits it can bring your business.